Saturday, February 26, 2011
I (Donis) would take up my blogmates' thread on the search for perfection, but at the moment, perfection is the last thing I'm trying to pursue. I'm just trying to hang on.
The author Elbert Hubbard said, "Life is just one damned thing after another." This is true for everyone, which is a comforting thought. I realize it's not just me. Which doesn't make it any more fun.
There is too much going on. Too many things that have to be taken care of with the car, with the house. Too many doctor appointments and friends and relatives in need. Too many meetings and trips out of town and visitors coming in to town. Too many guest blogs and appearances. Taken one at a time, none of it is that hard to deal with. But when so many things come so hard upon one another, it's difficult to know whether you're coming or going.
Lately I've developed what they call in Zen "the monkey mind". It continually jumps around from branch to branch and pillar to post, chattering away, out of control. I long for peace and quiet, especially in my own head.
What task do I need to take up next? Where am I supposed to be now? Did I forget that appointment, that interview? Why didn't this happen like it was supposed to? Why did this break? Who mashed my bumper? What does she's want from me? What do I want? Who am I?
Am I happy?
Ah, there's the question. I don't want to leave the impression that I'm miserable or that my life is out of control. Far from it. I've gone through far worse periods. One of the advantages of having lived a while is that you do come to realize that even the worst misery or the greatest happiness eventually passes. Sometimes the tide is out, and sometimes the tide is in, and you just have to ride it out.
Another advantage of having lived a while is that you know what people mean when they say, "Life is short," and you'd better consider how much longer you want to torture yourself.
So think of those things, Donis, if you can stop the chattering long enough. And remember what your mother told you : No matter how many things you have to do, you can really only do one thing at a time.